I Never Wanted To Be a Therapist

When I was in 8th grade, we had to write a paper of “What I want to be when I grow up?” I was in Mrs. Limbaugh’s class at the old Jr. High building. I hand wrote on lined paper with a pencil about the career of being an archeologist. There was something soothing about being outside, digging, dusting, and the hope of finding fossils or dinosaur bones. I have no idea where this came from. During my childhood, I played a lot of teacher and doctor–like most kids. My grandmother was a Biology teacher and PE Coach. She would give me her lesson plan books. They had a red cover with white pages and boxes for each hour and day. I loved it. 

Throughout high school, I was convinced I would do something in the church, missions, a nurse, or doctor. Through those careers, I would live in a tent and play soccer with the locals in another country. As my junior and senior year appreached, I found myself declaring the pre-med track at each college I applied to.

Becoming a therapist never crossed my mind. I had an idea of what therapy was because a sweet soul, Sue Roper, charged me $5 per session to talk about tough stuff going on in my life when I was 18. But, I had known “Mrs. Roper” my whole life through church. It wasn’t like therapy today but the therapeutic intentional ways, I understand now, and the way she loved and cared for me would eventually impact where I am today. 

I played competitive sports my whole life. I dabbled in disordered eating and over exercising in high school. However, when I was 23, the behaviors turned into a full blown eating disorder. Many of you know the rest of the story through living with me, being my friend, hearing me speak, reading my blogs, or following my social media pages. 

Starting my freshmen year of college, I started mentoring high school kids through YoungLife. I was a leader for 19 years. I had a few breaks here and there between getting help for my eating disorder and moving twice. During that time in my life, it was an amazing experience. I kept thinking at times when kids had really hard things to share, “I wish I could do more!” “I wish I could help!” 

Since graduating from high school, I have had several jobs: worked at a gas station, worked in the emergency room, was a live-in nanny, worked at a ski/bike shop, and my main job for many years has been working in Human Resources. In 2016, I decided to move on from a company I had worked at in HR for almost 10 years. The HR Team environment was toxic and due to that I found myself back in treatment. Ironically, the year before I had applied to be a counselor. It was really the working with kids who were of a different social class and poverty level that tore at my heart strings and I knew very little about “trauma informed”. 

I didn’t really think I could be a therapist because of my eating disorder history. I didn’t really know or had heard of any of my own or other clinicians in the field that had gone through an eating disorder. When I quit my job in 2016, I started my Master program two weeks later. One of my professors, Dr. Betsy Wagner said during orientation that his program would be our “crucible”. She wasn’t wrong. At the same time, it was one of the most incredible times in my life. Everything I was learning clicked. I didn’t have to work hard to understand the theory and the therapeutic relational pieces came naturally. I never felt so much like myself in a career. 

During school I was 100% sure I no longer wanted to work with eating disorders and absolutely not substance use. I found myself at a PHP/IOP substance use center for an internship and continuing to facilitate groups at The Eating Disorder Foundation. The more I ran from both fields, the more they caught up with me. BeforeI knew it, I wanted to work with co-occurring substance use and eating disorders. A niche in the fields very few people are doing. 

Fast forward to today, I am seeing clients, supervising interns, LPCCs, and ADDCs. I LOVE supervision. I have my own client case load, helping with marketing and attending community events, and working with trauma and co-occurring substance use and eating disorders.

I never wanted to be a therapist…

Here we are! Thriving! So happy! I love it! Passionate about it!

Strong connection and community in both fields.

All align with my values.

Grateful.