The Fatphobic Noise

I’ve seen countless advertisements for GLP-1s. I’ve seen my friends and colleagues on social media talk about their weight loss journey. Last night, as I was scrolling, a colleague of mine posted about their new found excitement of using a GLP-1.

It caused me to have judgment about them. I did my best to replace it with curiosity. I reminded myself that everyone has body autonomy and their own journey. These posts were so bothersome that I dreamt of a conversation with this individual who randomly came up to me with their sales pitch and suggested I take a GLP-1.

I did my normal response I always have one hand:

I’m sorry I don’t remember asking for a GLP-1.

What makes you think I want to take a GLP-1? My life is full. My health is great holistically, and I’m happier and more joyful than I’ve ever been. 

I’m in recovery from an eating disorder and taking GLP-1s would be detrimental to my recovery. I would rather be in this body than a smaller body and miserable. 

One of my other colleagues I’m close with was standing with me. We went outside and I cried. 

In both the dream and real life, it truly takes so much energy to share my thoughts and story. It makes me question my body and wonder if there is something wrong with me. I am able to remind myself, I also deserve body autonomy and a full life no matter the size of my body. 

A few months ago, I was talking with Dr. Gaudiani (my friend, not my provider) and she asked, “How are you doing with all the GLP-1 noise?” I responded with, “It’s no different from my day to day. It’s just louder,” 

Because of the work I do, my feeds are constantly filled with diet culture reels, protein, lifting, GLP-1s, replacing delicious nutrient dense foods with low nutrient dense foods, and a focus on weight loss. It’s constant, no matter how many times I report a post or ad. On the flipside, my feed is also full of positive eating disorder recovery quotes, helpful tips on how to regulate the nervous system, self care, listening to my body, body positivity and neutrality, and reminders that there is nothing wrong with our bodies.

If I’m honest, it gets to me at times. I question myself. Especially when I’m in spaces that weren’t made for me. 

At the end of the day, I know who I am, what I’ve been through mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually in my recovery journey. To have false confidence by the way culture would treat me differently if my body changed through the unhealthy diet culture belief is not worth the years of torture and sickness. I know where my mind would go! 

And as a reminder ALL of us, including myself, we have body autonomy. I am sharing my experience of the sadness, doubt at times, and a strength of knowing who I am which includes my body that allows me to do amazing things no matter its size. 

My BIG and FULL LIFE!!!