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You Look Like You've Lost Weight

I’ve been sick for about 10 days. I had a cold. My normal one I get every year either in February or March. As with most of us, I’m assuming, our appetite changes when we are sick. Well for me anyway. I don’t have much of an appetite. I don’t eat as much. Once I’m over the worst part of my cold, my appetite comes back. I eat everything in sight because I’m so hungry, then I go back to my “norm” for what my body needs. Last week, a friend, who knows my story, said to me, “You

My Own Personal [Unintentional] Southern Smash

***I try to keep my posts short, but this one is longer than my usual posts. *** Eating disorder recovery is full of surprises. Especially since much of it is counterintuitive to cultural norms like diet culture. Diet culture makes it easy to justify small behaviors. As with any kind of recovery, it is like peeling back an onion, layer by layer, and trusting those around me. At least, that has been my journey and my truth. I spent 20 years lost in the psychological, emotional

Where’s the Ski Gear in my Size?

Throughout my eating disorder, my body has been in a variety of sizes. When my body was in a thinner body, I had no problem finding cute ski clothing to wear that fit perfectly. When my body changed into a bigger body, I found myself thinking, “I’m so fat I can’t even find ski clothes to wear.” The message I heard when nothing in the store would go over my thighs was, “If you want to have ski clothes, you need to lose weight.” Which translated in my head to, “I’m less of a pe

Values and Recovery

Guest speaking is my FAVORITE part of what I get to do in the eating disorder recovery community! I speak at EDCare in Denver, CO often. Every time I share my journey of how my eating disorder started, what the struggles of turning away from the disorder were, the joys, happiness, courage, and strength to maintain recovery, I’m blown away by reflecting on my progress. It’s easy to forget how far I’ve come! There are times I’m sharing my story and I remember sitting in the sam

I Didn't Fit In...

If you are reading this sentence, it’s safe to assume there has been, at a minimum, one time you didn’t fit in: social groups, sports teams, neighborhoods, churches, family, school, towns, cultures, clothing…what about physical spaces in public like airplane or bus seats, stadium seats at games or concerts? Sound familiar? This week, I didn’t fit in…a chair at a coffee shop. I identify as living in a bigger body. I have anxiety when going to restaurants, coffee shops, or the

If You Post that Pic, Crop it First

I have been fighting with myself on this blog post daily for about two weeks. I was skiing Vail (two weeks ago) with my friend. We took so many pictures. I posted a few on my instagram that day. She took the picture below of me. When I saw the picture, all I could focus on were the things CULTURE and DIET CULTURE tells me I should and need to change about my body to be happy. As I looked at the photo, I said, "If you post that pic, crop it first!" Followed by, "Ugh I feel ter

Having A Cold Can Be Triggering

I have been super sick this week. I flew home for Thanksgiving. On Saturday, when flying back to Denver, I started feeling sick. Not only did I feel sick, but my flight was delayed by two hours. Once I got to DIA, I missed the last train to the Park N Ride where I left my car by 20 minutes. I ended up having to pay $42 to Lyft to my car when the train would have been free for me. Again, I was not feeling well, and the 20-minute drive home was super icy. I finally walked into

Fall-Unexpected Rhythms in Sadness and Glory

I was captivated by this tree yesterday. I’ve experienced recent unexpected changes with my treatment team. Another form of grief and loss in life, not only recovery. These things are out of my control and are circumstances that have nothing to do with me. I can’t deny the hurt of having clinicians, who I’ve entrusted, with the raw, intricate, secretive, and tender parts of my story, heart, and soul move onto other opportunities. I also can’t deny the healing these beautiful

Why Do Numbers Hold So Much Power?

The past week has been incredibly stressful. I have struggled with allowing myself to not become too overwhelmed by the competing priorities in my life: main job, part time job, graduate school, #YoungLife, my own therapy, tests, papers, meetings, advocacy work, homework, and my very minimal social life (which I hope is temporary). Tonight, I stop for a moment to reflect. I am taking a break from my books to write because it makes me happy! I need to feel sane tonight! I am l

#WhyINEDAwalk

The National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) hosts walks all over the country each year. NEDA is the largest non-profit that advocates, provides support, and education for those struggling with an eating disorder or loved ones seeking help and information. The walks are a fundraising opportunities for NEDA. This year, 60% of the proceeds raised to directly back to The Eating Disorder Foundation of Denver (EDF). They hosted the event this year. The event allows for particip

Pen Pals

One of my favorite things in life is being pen pals with my friends. For me, self care is writing notes and cards to friends each week. And yes, I’m actually handwriting the cards. I use my favorite pens and sharpies, find the best cards, and sometimes make the cards. I like my words and the card to uniquely fit each each friend I’m writing. It’s an intentional process for me to love my friends well. Some of you may wonder how writing someone else is self care. The process is

What's All This Hot Pink About?

I'm so excited to officially have a blog up and running. My name is Mindy. I live in Colorado. I love all things outdoors winter, spring, summer, and fall. My favorite things in life include mountains, sunshine, waterfalls, friends, family, live acoustic music, Jesus, writing, having deep conversations over coffee, adventure, YoungLife, and being a recovery advocate for eating disorders. My intention is to be authentic, passionate, and real in all my posts. I hope what I wri